Archive for January, 2010

Day 28-31, 2010:

I am thinking where to havet he money for rent and food for this month. I got one offer, which I should take it as I don’t have other offer now… which won’t start till 22nd Feb. Which means I need to have the money for the next whole months etc.

Categories: General

Day24-27, 2010:Got an offer…but…

Sorry I have been missing again.  Still feeling blue … well JUST TO REPORT WHAT I YOU HAVE DONE THESE DAYS MAM!  Sometimes I think I have to spank myself too. 

I have applied 10+ job on Tue. Today I went to an interview. It was good. But due to my licence limited me can’t teach in day care. I am sad about it. They still offer me an assistant position with much lower salary sigh. On the other hand, I am going for another interview tomorrow,will be a part time only. few hours but just almost 1.5 k fewer.

The principal I have met today. She is same age as me but she is a principal already. I envy her… I wasted all my years and I could be just an assistant now… sigh…

I have been so worried about how much money I have in the bank. I still haven’t checked it out yet. Estimated it is about 3.5 k or lower 😦

Dave burned me a few movies I wanted, horror ones. Guess what? He put one cartoon in the dise too. I think it is very cute and sweet.

Categories: General

Day24, 2010: So Blank…

I am so stressed. I doubt I have the money for rent, which due on 5th next month. Well, I haven’t checked my bank balance yet. But very unlikely I would have it. At the same time, I seem hopeless to be able to get a job in that field again. What should I do? I feel like my life, the last 35 years resulted as a blank paper now. My qualification is blank; my bank account is blank; my mind is blank; my wallet is empty and what else.. probably everything..

But I still on this project, I still trying to survive. I am looking for ways to survive. I am now thinking my 20 survival ideas now.. so far I jsut can think of 9 ideas yet…Richard and Barrie say  have to be 20 ideas. and last few ones are probably the best oones.. I am still thnking..

Categories: General

Day23, 2010: Feeling blue…

I forgot to mention that yesterday I walked down to the train station  ( going tot he interview), some bird poo dropped on my hand. I knew I got rotten luck by then.

One thing Richard and Barrie are so right. What we have today were accummiated from the past. What I am encounter today are the result from my past, from what I have done to myself.  I am feeling down yes! I am beaten by that bitch yesterday 😦

Think,I am hopeless on my plan A, which seem I am not qualified to take this job again. Oh God! How can I get rid of that bitchy face out of my mind? You know when u being bitchy, you really ruin the other lives!! fucking bitch she is !!!

Categories: General

Day22, 2010: She made faces

I just came back from interview. I t was awful. The principal there making faces, quite mean to me. I wanted to leave in the middle of the interview. I didn’t feel she respected me at all. But I did not leave. Even there were few times I felt like it. I hold back and stayed till the last minute. Anyway, at last she said she liked what I said and will call for second interview. But she doesn’t know when as depends on the director. Should I take it as an excuse or what? I don’t know.

Am I so desperate? Yes. also so depress after this bloody meeting to. I am thinking I may need to just find any job and continue my study then back to teach? I have no luck to find a man who would take care of me. God, what should I do?

Categories: General

Day 21, 2010: You are the winner!

I got a phone call at lunch time. It is the school which I didn’t go for interview as I was so scared. But they called about today and I am going to give it ago. I am a person get upset or discouraged very easily with just a mean face or mean talking. I should be grateful as they given me one more chance. Even though it is pretty far up on the hill and I have no idea how could I made myself to work there… transportation costs fortune and up hill, mid hill… areas around that hill… all very expensive. But I will still give it a go.

I chatted with a friend today. I asked him to wish me luck for tomorrow interview. He answered ‘ You don’t need luck.’ I asked why. Then he said’ You are the winner!’ Of course I said ‘ I am not’ as usual. He said just think you are! Hey isn’t it what Richard and Barrie always talking about? Be positive and think ‘ I am’ . Thanks for my friend reminded me that.

Not many vacancies in the market at the moment. I haven’t applied any job today. And I haven’t found out my bank balance yet. The ATM I always use for this purpose is under maintainance. Why this one? As it has small screen and kind of hidden, others around wouldn’t see my balance easily…. searching for another atm to do it… It is weekend again…

Categories: General

Day 20, 2010:Interview went ok…

I went to the interview for sure!  It was an indian guy interviewed me. Once I noticed this wasn’t a local headmistress, my felt fine immediately.  The interview was ok, bit boring I would say. Because he just kept looking checking my reference letters and employment history. So convention… I don’t like this SG style at all, which with attitude and pretend they are smart. Anyway, this job isn’t that interested me. I have been think what could I do to convert the silent moment during interview? I tried to speak out more, but he stopped me. SEEEEEE this is the attitude I meant. So rude and arrogant!!

I should have keep applying more jobs, progress too slow here. It is almost end of the month. Sigh! And I need to go check my bank balance tomorrow, which is a very scary thing to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Categories: General